Dating a man in an arranged marriage

Added: Nyisha Collier - Date: 17.09.2021 18:28 - Views: 24987 - Clicks: 2954

Arranged marriages occupy an awkward place in contemporary Britain.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

However, my decade-long research with British Indians paints a rather different picture of this practice. Far from being a homogeneous tradition, modern arranged marriages involve a variety of matchmaking practices where each family tailors its own version to suit modern identities and ambitions. Among the first generation, transnational arranged marriages were the norm.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

People would go back to India to find partners, with the added expectation that their children would follow a very traditional style of arranged marriage. But there was a marked shift in the attitude of the British-born second generation. For this group, attitudes towards arranged marriages began to noticeably shift in the s and s.

They felt that unlike their parents, traditional transnational marriages would not work for them and their children who identified more with Britain than with India.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

The range of arranged marriages that now exist can be thought of as a spectrum, with forced marriages that involve marrying someone against their will at one extreme and the most westernised style of courtship and marriage including inter-religious marriages or instances where parents may only be involved in arranging the wedding at the other. My research has highlighted two styles of arranged marriage that lie between these extremes. Both appear to be the most popular ways through which young British Indians have embraced arranged marriages.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

Introductions can involve sifting through specially commissioned bride or groom CVs, studio photographs, events similar to speed-dating organised by local temples and, increasingly, matrimonial websites even social media sites like Facebook and Instagram.

After introductions are made, the relationship follows an established pattern of the couple going on dates sometimes chaperoned to get to know each other better. All those I interviewed who went through this version of arranged marriage confessed to being in love with their chosen partner by the wedding.

In these marriages, couples go on Dating a man in an arranged marriage and get to know each other before asking their families to approach the parents of their love interest in order to arrange a formal introduction. This is followed by parent-approved courtship and then marriage.

Falling in love independently of parental involvement was important in love-cum-arranged marriage. The importance of caste the hierarchical Indian system of social division primarily based on hereditary status and resistance to inter-marriages is becoming rarer in these instances. And some negotiations in class boundaries were permitted among research participants.

However, sharing the same religion and ethnicity were seen as non-negotiable, which meant that the arranged aspect of this style of marriage still carried weight. Love-cum-arranged marriages were regarded not as a compromise but as the ideal to meet the desires of both the parents and the. For British-born generations today, love as learning involves first discovering the boundaries of family expectations and preferences in relation to future partners.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

Secondly, and more ificantlyit requires putting that learning into practice through self-censure and falling in love with someone who parents would be likely to approve of. This hybrid form of marriage allows British Indians to adapt different elements to reflect both the British and Indian aspects of their identities. These two styles of marriage — semi-arranged marriage and love-cum-arranged marriage — symbolise the future of arranged marriages in Britain.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

Younger British Indians increasingly prefer the latter over the former. While forced marriage has been made illegal in the United Kingdom and love marriages are held up as the norm, arranged marriages end up occupying a grey zone between the two — always suspect and never desirable. Consequently, people who have arranged marriages are treated with suspicion and are regarded as a threat to social cohesion. As such, it is ever more important to acknowledge the diversity of arranged marriage forms.

We need to move beyond the idea that love and arrangement have to be mutually exclusive, embodying the differences between traditional Eastern and the modern Western cultures respectively. In fact, love and arrangement can exist in tandem, as shown by the marriage styles that are popular among British Indians today. Edition: Available editions United Kingdom. Raksha PandeNewcastle University.

Dating a man in an arranged marriage

email: [email protected] - phone:(865) 244-3135 x 3562

Destined for an arranged marriage, I chose to follow my heart