How to communicate when angry

Added: Dontavious Sepulveda - Date: 15.07.2021 19:26 - Views: 18141 - Clicks: 1238

Posted September 28, Reviewed by Abigail Fagan. We have to assert ourselves, our boundaries, and our needs — and others have to do the same with us. There are a million terrible ways of expressing your frustration. Anger — both direct and indirect or How to communicate when angry — is meant to communicate something important.

But it can also drive people away. What you really want is to connect and be heard, but when anger is involved, the result is often just the opposite. Aggression in any form is the biggest impediment to emotionally intelligent communication. In fact, it may actually be worse. The French have a wonderful expression How to communicate when angry passive-aggression : sous-entendu.

If you are looking for a true and meaningful connection and understanding with another person, you need a better strategy. What does passive-aggression look like in practice? It's an indirect jab at someone that says it all. Twitter is rampant with it. When model Chrissy Teigen went out on a dinner date with her husband John Legend shortly after having a baby, she was tagged by followers as being a bad mother. Some tweets were directly aggressive, others passive-aggressive, like this one:. Some cultures are perceived as tending to be extremely direct — think New Yorkers, for example.

What you see is oftentimes what you get. Other cultures are seen as more indirect. Many perceive the French communication style as typically passive-aggressive. In parts of the Southern or Midwestern U. People tend to act more congenially.

Fundamentally, though, neither of these approaches necessarily le to the constructive you want. When you are angry, you need to express it. But both aggressive and passive-aggressive behaviors will drive people further away from you. We know that when the emotion centers of the brain are highly active, we have a harder time thinking logically. Breathe, take a walk, distract yourself with a funny movie, meditate, exercise, pray — anything to help you regain composure and perspective. In the process, you drive away the people you love the most — making things even worse.

What's more, you're still frustrated, since they weren't the true cause of your anger. Research shows that negative emotions make us self-centered. This is when you need to bring in a very helpful emotion: Curiosity. Become curious as to why the other person is acting a certain way.

How to communicate when angry

Instead of confronting them, ask them with genuine interest why they are doing what they are doing. Chances are, the person you are angry with is not purposely trying to hurt you. Try to understand them before you as blame.

The result: You develop understanding and a deeper relationship based on communication and civility, compassion, and empathy. If you approach them with aggression, they will feel defensive and respond with anger in return.

How to communicate when angry

On the other hand, if you approach the other person with respect, they are able to hear your How to communicate when angry and feel safe sharing theirs. Share your perspective by using the word "I" and talking about how you feel. But don't stop there, or you'll remain self-centered in your perspective. Ask the other person to share their perspective, and engage with it sincerely. Show interest for the other person's perspective, and explore together how you can come to a compromise.

Again, be curious, not accusatory. Are you dealing with someone passive-aggressive in your life? Here are a few ways to handle the situation:. Invite a civil conversation that takes into perspective how they are feeling. Be compassionate and forgiving. The passive-aggressive or aggressive person is obviously frustrated and tense.

Wish them well, while setting good boundaries with them. In so doing, you create a space for them to really share what's going on, rather than having to make indirect stabs that only make matters worse. For more on the science of happinessemotional intelligence, and compassionate communication, see The Happiness Track HarperOne. Feeling It. Anger Essential Re. About the Author.

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How to communicate when angry

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How to communicate when angry

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