Added: Sharina Fullilove - Date: 04.08.2021 10:45 - Views: 21477 - Clicks: 4860
Just feeling sad tonight Even if nobody has much to say regarding my situation I'm still going to write it out here if that's okay, just to vent. Sorry for the long post. My boyfriend of 6 years dumped me shortly before Christmas citing, among other things, that I had become too dependent on him -- this is not untrue as I don't have a whole lot of other friends where I am living now and so my boyfriend became pretty much my entire world and while I think I'm definitely in better shape than I was, I still don't think I'm healing fast enough.
After one month of LC post-breakup I wonder if he thinks about me initiated between myself and himI asked him if there was someone else which he had denied ever since the BU and then he finally admitted to me that yes, he had started seeing someone else. And apparently he had been seeing her since like, 2 weeks or so after breaking up with me.
But gave me the "let's still be friends" I wonder if he thinks about me. Finally at this point I broke down and told him sorry, I can't be friends now and we can't be in contact, but maybe sometime we can be friends again. He said it hurt that I couldn't be friends but he understood where I was coming from, and that he would always be there for me and stuff if I wanted to talk, and he hoped it didn't take too long for me to start communicating with him again because he really wanted to remain friends.
So that was almost two months ago now. I haven't heard from him since, and he hasn't heard from me. Honestly when he first admitted to me that he was seeing someone else, after the initial devastation of this I almost felt like it was a good thing. I thought that him jumping into something so soon after ending things with me would soon blow up in his face dramatically, and then he would come crawling back. Coupled with me going No Contact, which would drive him crazy wondering about me. Well, here we are two months later, and I don't even have a single solitary bread crumb from him.
It doesn't feel good. I know I've been thinking about him too much as opposed to using NC for its true purpose, to get over him. But I can't stop wondering Is this really that easy for him? After 6 years of us being in near constant contact, now there's just nothing and he is perfectly okay with that?
Even if he emotionally checked out of the relationship awhile before actually pulling the plug, I would think it would still be weird for him once I cut all contact. Does he ever wonder what the girl who was too dependent on him is even doing now that she never talks to him? I would think if nothing else, he would want to know out of sheer curiosity.
Is he surprised that I've made it this long without reaching out to him, or does he just not even think about it? I am sure as hell curious about how he is doing. I find myself wondering about his new relationship and how that's going. I actually know nothing at all about his new girlfriend -- not her name, what she looks like, her job, or anything. In some ways I wish I did, because I am curious about this girl who apparently he decided was worth throwing six years away for. I wonder, have they had an argument yet? Is there any area where she falls short and he misses me? Or is everything about her just absolutely perfect and every day he is happier and happier with her?
Is this relationship that he jumped into after breaking up with me really the one that's going to stick for him for the rest of his life? I know I am thinking about him way too much, but I can't help it. I can't just erase him from my thoughts, as much I wonder if he thinks about me I'd like to. These past few weeks I've been throwing myself into new activities and trying to just get out of my apartment and do stuff, but it's not really helping as much as I'd like because everywhere I go I notice happy couples and think to myself, this would be a lot more fun if HE was here.
And I am not sleeping well at all -- I always slept much better when I shared the bed with him. I try to think to myself, what do I even have to look forward to if I can't have him back? A future where I'm happy with someone else? It's such a bizarre concept to me. I'm not at all interested in dating anyone else at this I wonder if he thinks about me. It's too weird. I wonder if I'll ever be ready.
I don't know if anybody here has any suggestions for how to stop thinking about him so much I'm trying to keep myself busy, but I still think about him all the time. Sometimes I debate breaking NC and just asking how he's doing, but at the same time I don't want to do that because I feel like that will just give all the power back to him, and I don't know how I would handle it if he has gotten to the point where he's moved on so much that he's totally cold and distant with me or doesn't reply at all. But if I never contact him, and he never contacts me, then I guess we'll never talk again.
Which is something that is hard for me to digest. Wow, so sorry. I don't know if this helps. But I once read a book about getting over someone. They suggested that you start thinking about that person romantically. You are getting physical with that person.
You are getting very involved and feeling very sexual. Good Luck! I've been in your position as well, wondering if my ex thought of me, how could he just move on and get over it so quickly, imagined the women he was with, blah, blah, blah. What I realised with the benefit of hindsight and a whole lot of obsessive thinking, is that some people move on very quickly. In my experience this is often guys, because largely they don't like to dwell on things and ruminate - they prefer to move onto a new activity - i.
Clearly not all guys do this - you only have to read what some guys are saying on this forum to realise this. And clearly some women move on quickly too! So, sadly these people that move on quickly are generally NOT thinking of us. Yes, that's hard. They are in 'new relationship energy' and their minds and bodies have moved on. Their rebound relationship provides the distraction they need to move on. So hence no 'crumbs' for the relationship. In order to stop thinking about him, you need to stop the thoughts. In order to stop the thoughts you need to be aware of them. So, observe the repetitive thoughts and when they start - tell yourself 'I don't need to think about this anymore'.
Distract yourself - so start another activity, move rooms, make yourself physically think about something else. People often use this technique with children when they are moody, badly behaved, whatever. Think of your mind like that you need to distract.
I've been where you are and I realised that one of the reasons I kept thinking the thoughts was because unconsciously I wanted to feel the pain again, the injustice of being dumped, etc, etc. Having said all that, it's really only been 3 months. The pain is still fresh and the grief has to work its way though your emotions, your intellect and your spirit. It does take time and you're probably expecting to heal far more quickly than you actually will. Accept that you're feeling awful and that these thoughts will be there for a while longer Accepting the pain really helps.
It's OK to feel awful after 6 years and a break up. Yes he thinks of you. No he won't forget you. You'll probably talk again. She's just a person like anyone else, the relationship may or may not stick. Someday it won't matter to you.
Yes it's all a very bizarre concept to you right now. This is all very normal and a part of the process. It doesn't mean anything other than you are going through normal emotions and feelings as you grow from this. It will feel bizarre for a while, but keep doing what you're doing.
You'll get yourself back and eventually you'll be happy and having fun in new adventures with new and wonderful friends. You will enjoy dating again. You will be happy with someone else.
It really hasn't been long at all. You're doing well.
Keep it up. It will all be OK someday.
I've blocked my ex absolutely everywhere as im furious now. Thanks for these responses. I'm the one who ended things, but I've also been having trouble getting him out of my head. He started dating someone else a few weeks after we broke up.I wonder if he thinks about me
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I Wonder If He’s Thinking About Me Could Totally Snipe That Guy From Here Meme