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Illustrations: Yosef Itzkowitz. Yosef Itzkowitz is an artist, author and poet. His published work can be found on Amazon, under the name Yosef Paper. He is currently studying illustration at the School of Visual Arts in New York City and can be reached at yosefitzkowitz gmail. Molly is Ashkenazi; Joey is Sephardic.
Three years ago, she was living in St. Louis and he was in Los Angeles. Though Molly and Joey are Orthodox and in their thirties, they had not even one mutual Facebook friend. This despite the fact that Molly has 2, Facebook friends! In recent years, the Internet and smartphones have changed how people do virtually everything in recent years, from Torah learning to grocery shopping. Not surprisingly, technology has affected how people Orthodox jewish dating sites and date—and the frum world is not immune to this drastic shift. Love at First Swipe? JSwipe is one of several online platforms Orthodox Jewish singles use to meet.
The mobile app, created inpushes one suggestion at a time to members—profiles are usually heavy on photos—and they can swipe right if they are interested, or left to pass. Even Abikzer admits her success with JSwipe may be somewhat of an anomaly. Orthodox jewish dating sites init was one of the first dating sites for the Orthodox community. Members create a profile and browse others within selected criteria. They can decide who to contact, and if or when to take the conversation from online to an in-person date.
Orthodox jewish dating sites is a nurse in her thirties who lives in a small Midwestern city. Sarah appreciates the autonomy offered by JWed. A newcomer to the online Jewish dating scene is Forj, which uses artificial intelligence to recommend matches to its users. The app guides users through an extensive -up process, including a series of multiple-choice questions about themselves.
Though artificial intelligence in shidduchim is new, society as a whole has gotten used to online dating. In fact, in Psychology Today estimated that by70 percent of people will have met their ificant other online. Opting for Tradition Of course, online dating has not penetrated the entire Orthodox world. Shaya Ostrov, a therapist based in Far Rockaway, New York, notes that in general, the Chareidi sectors prefer a more traditional approach to dating.
In her late thirties, she refuses to use online dating sites. Overall, though, he views using algorithm-based technology to find dates as positive. While twenty-nine-year-old Avi, who considers himself Modern Orthodox, has many reservations about online dating sites, he sees the potential in them. Bringing Dating To You Opportunities to meet people online can be particularly beneficial to singles faced with limited options.
For example, David is divorced and lives in an out-of-town community, sharing custody of his son. It is not an option for him to relocate to New York—widely recognized as the epicenter of frum dating—in the hope of meeting someone. Sarah has noticed that, in addition to the challenge of living in a city with few Orthodox singles, people stop thinking of suggestions once one reaches a certain age. Ahuva agrees. Sobolofsky notes that dating sites have actually been a major asset in organizing in-person events for singles, which adds an additional opportunity for people to meet and network.
All profiles on JWed must be approved by the site before they are posted. As an added precaution, Sarah asks for references before moving from online to real-life dating. Sobolofsky, Orthodox jewish dating sites asserts that checking references has changed drastically in an age of social media. Jonathan, a thirty-two-year-old attorney in New York City, confirms that everyone checks out potential dates on social media, which he feels can be helpful in determining if a potential shidduch is suitable or not.
Back then, 5 percent of Americans used at least one social media platform. Bythat had grown to 69 percent of the public, or as high as 86 percent in certain demographics. As a full-time shadchan for Connections, the shidduch division of Gateways, Fayge Rudman works with singles over age twenty-five from across the spectrum of Orthodoxy. She sees a clear connection between the rise of social media and the growing challenges in dating for frum people.
They get the gorgeous hehot provided by the prospective date, but then they look on Facebook and see real-life pictures. Social media gives an ersatz experience that something is happening. She tries to network for her thirty-three-year-old son and compares it to when her other children got married several years ago.
Avi suggests social media, especially Instagram, is detrimental to dating in a deeper way. People get hurt and disappointed and feel left out. A relationship is a two-person experience, when they share their lives and express vulnerability in a safe way. None of this can exist on social media.
Many point to the good that has come out of these social platforms. Lots of ideas [for shidduchim ] come up that way. Many programs aimed at singles Orthodox jewish dating sites use social media to reach people. Additionally, individuals and organizations use social media to create vibrant online communities that may serve as both valuable support and networking opportunities, particularly for those who share certain circumstances, such as divorced Orthodox jewish dating sites.
The Texting Tangle Online messaging is a staple of dating sites, but ironically, this type of communication may complicate relationships as much as it facilitates them. Ostrov believes that texting is destructive to relationships. You can only create problems.
You think you can use texting to cut to the chase. But the hole gets deeper. Rudman from Connections notes that for dating couples, texting between dates can be a real problem. Sobolofsky has noticed that in-person conversations are more awkward for some people as they become more comfortable interacting online.
Sobolofsky believes the new possibilities offered by technology lead to many positive. David, the divorced dad, embraces everything technology has to offer in dating. We check in several times during the day, and we Facetime to say good-night.
Sarah, the nurse, tries to maintain her sense of humor as she navigates the ambiguities of online dating. We have been talking on the phone and texting for several weeks. In the two years since her wedding, Molly Abikzer freely shares her JSwipe success story to encourage singles to take advantage of online dating platforms. Rachel Schwartzberg works as a writer and editor and lives with her family in Memphis, Tennessee. This article was featured in the Summer issue of Jewish Action. up and get JA in your inbox. Would love your thoughts, please comment.Orthodox jewish dating sites
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Frum Dating in the Digital Age