Signs of a shady girlfriend

Added: Landis Skow - Date: 06.12.2021 16:48 - Views: 10284 - Clicks: 6072

Unless you're somewhere sprawled out in a hammock, or the president of some Marshall Mathers appreciation club, nobody truly likes "shady.

Signs of a shady girlfriend

Shady is a term we'll use pretty much as the semantic training wheels before definitively calling someone a liar or outright dishonest. Still, as human beings, we naturally tend to flock towards things we don't fully understand — even if they do end up hurting us. For men, when we find a girl who keeps us guessing, we usually have an inclination to stick around and keep guessing — despite the fact she's also driving us nuts in the process.

For whatever reason, there's just something about her mystique that keeps pulling us in — it's like a whiff of an Auntie Anne's from the other side of the airport or Al Pacino in the " Godfather III. Yeah, those cinnamon things from Auntie Anne's -- don't act like you didn't know what I was referring to there. If you think you're dating a shady girl, but aren't percent sure, well, you're in luck. That's what I'm here for. I've got some experience dating shady chicks and, thus, feel obligated to share some clarity with those currently catching shade like the present time on a sundial.

Why do you think Destiny's Child made that song back in ? By your count, which has since eclipsedyou expected this horror story to be a rather long one. Newsflash: You know how many seasons there are of "American Horror Story"? You always offer to come to her place, but she always insists. She'd rather take two subways and walk four blocks to come to yours every single time. You find this curious, considering your floor doubles as your closet Signs of a shady girlfriend you rarely even bother moving the Cetaphil bottle from your bedside before she comes over.

But, then, you remember you never have to leave your apartment and decide to wait for newer, more conclusive, evidence. For now, though, you consider it a cold case -- at least until the summer, when it's warm enough to make the trek over to her hideout I mean, apartment. When she decides to show face with you in public, you soon discover just Signs of a shady girlfriend much of a social butterfly she really is.

Who was that?

Signs of a shady girlfriend

Jenny, she was in my sorority; she's a "college friend. Deep down, Signs of a shady girlfriend the des on most of the hoodies that's honestly keep you up at night. They're all collegiate athletic hoodies from different schools. No matter how many times she tries telling you it was her who played lacrosse at Cornell, you find it hard to believe that she had time to do it while also playing basketball at Ohio State.

At least, not if that sushi was prepared on sight — which, aside from a few upscale grocery stores, it always is. Nevertheless, this seems to be the common theme among all of her old flames: They all seem to be one big, happy family. Your exes, on the other hand, are slightly different. What can you say? Not for long, though.

Signs of a shady girlfriend

Once you're together, she avoids contact with your hand like she owes it a large sum of money. Is she a germaphobe? Is your grip too tight? Wait, did she just introduce you as her brother to that dude before? Her bag is like a thrift store with handles. What's also weird is the credit card she carries around issued to some dude with an Eastern Signs of a shady girlfriend sounding name. And those caffeine tablets she has, with the label crudely ripped off? Yeah, it's all pretty weirdman. Yeah, okay. My take on the situation? Oh, she has a Facebook alright, just try searching her first and middle name, instead.

Hell, you hardly forget anything; you've only learned to avoid calling her out for her shady behavior. The last time you mentioned how strange you thought it was she had her period three times in two weeks, she called you a chauvinistic pig and gave you the silent treatment for days.

But, you know you're not chauvinistic. You just think three periods in one month, like a menstrual ellipsisis a little, well, shady. By Dan Scotti.

Signs of a shady girlfriend

Face it: Not much good can come from surrounding yourself with shady people. We're instinctively curious creatures. It's in our genetic code, for burden or blessing. So, without further ado, let's get this show on the road. Texts routinely start with "hey you. She's constantly "watching TV with the girls. She's always "with the girls. Do the math.

Signs of a shady girlfriend

She never wants you to come to her place. She knows everyone and everyone knows her. She has a ton of unexplainable hoodies. Her Snapchats and text messages rarely align. You're absolutely right, something is indeed amiss. She never holds your hand in public.

Why, yes, you think she did. The shadier she is, the more you want her.

Signs of a shady girlfriend

Frankly, I think it's a lot shady. Search Close.

Signs of a shady girlfriend

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