Why do i hate my family

Added: Shady Haakenson - Date: 23.09.2021 18:23 - Views: 46171 - Clicks: 1071

My dad beat me almost every day when I was little, and never had anything nice to say when I was growing up. He was always on drugs, burned me with his cigarettes, told me I was garbage. Which is exactly what I felt like. My mom stood by and let it happen. He hit her too.

I watched it happen. She took it out on me. I wish I had reported them, but I never did. I was too afraid of what would happen to me. I am 27 now, and until last Why do i hate my family I had not talked to either of my parents in years. Then, out of the blue, my mom calls me.

I hung up right away. I had terrible parents. I had the worst childhood you can imagine. I know hate is an ugly word. But I hate my parents. In some ways, the blaming and emotional abuse you experienced may be even more impactful than the physical abuse ; scars that remain invisible often take the longest to acknowledge and heal. In some cases, we may be unable to forgive until there has been some parental or caregiver recognition of the abuse and suffering inflicted upon us.

Furthermore, an ongoing lack of recognition of abuse or neglect indicates the toxicity persists.

Why do i hate my family

Setting a boundary, as you have, is reasonable and may in fact be the safest way forward. The terms are yours to define, and she needs to respect them, even if it means no contact. Emotional experience is subtle and complex. It is vital to acknowledge your emotional authenticity and experience, however painful or awkward. Otherwise, your psychological agency is in danger of becoming fractured, dissociated, or radically undermined. This awful behavior had the desired effect: the friends he wanted were told by their parents to stay away from him, and he grew up with insecurity issues that led to drug addiction.

Her alcohol-addicted husband worked long hours, and when home he remained locked in his den watching television, sipping booze. Unable to address her husband, she directed her rage at her son and essentially held him hostage with her manipulations and Why do i hate my family.

A couple of years ago, I had the good fortune of studying with a longtime psychoanalyst and mentor. Especially if they were horrible to their. Of course not. And anyway, do we really want requirements of the people we help? Refuse to see them? Give them moral instruction? All of this is a way of saying this: Do what feels safe and right to you. Keep your boundary.

Why do i hate my family

The healthiest person is often the first to seek therapy, as it turns out. I have discovered over time that the kind of harsh and unspeakably cruel treatment you received may impact a person in a way that can be hard to assess without empathic observation and support. Speaking of which, I would encourage you to seek a counselorpreferably one who can address the psychodynamics of such pernicious abuse. The damage can be very subtle. I discovered over time that the kind of harsh and unspeakably cruel treatment you received may impact a person in a way that can be hard to assess without empathic observation and support.

Sustaining hope means remaining vulnerable. Some people end up sabotaging their own hopes, or withdrawing from life, due to the savagery of past suffering. Finding a competent healer might be the most loving thing you could do for yourself.

Why do i hate my family

Hating your parents is one thing. Hating yourself for hating them is quite another. A competent therapist can help you recognize and have compassion for the forces at work in your self-directed misgivings. A cousin, aunt or uncle, even close family friend? The son I spoke of earlier had an aunt who was far more balanced than his own mother, and he and his aunt developed a fairly close rapport.

The aunt validated his experience as real, which was an important aspect of his coming to terms with his experience and moving forward.

Why do i hate my family

I hope this has been helpful. I further hope you are able to find the peace so unfairly denied to you by your parents. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. This is all on them. If you are happier in your life without them in it, then that is the path that you should pursue. Yes it would be great if everyone could have an awesome relationship with Why do i hate my family parents, but those are not the cards that we have all been dealt. I say that you have a lot of crap from the past that you have to work through, and if that includes doing that without them, then so be it.

I change my mind I am going to forgive my mother I do not even care she is drunk and she is so mean. I understand the feeling of guilt, because after all these are your parents and you feel in some ways that you owe them love. But do you really? The guilt should definitely be felt by them, because why even become a parent if this is the best that you can do for someone?

This was a helpful post. I am trying to learn that it is ok to not forgive my parents. Also, finding validation is very important, unfortunately my sister has been in total denial since our mother died. I am not trying to use this as an excuse but when you have never really been shown how that role should function one should understand that it is hard to know how to even behave when you become a parent yourself.

I am trying to do the work that is needed to encourage some healing, but I know that it is going to take some ti,me and I am always afraid that my kids are one day just going to give up on me. How I know this. Far worse is the mind games, bullying and ego smashing.

Classically trying to isolate you, belittle you, make you doubt yourself. I am left with a sea of rage towards Why do i hate my family. I hate them. I hate them with all my heart. I would never seek any confrontation with them that would risk any more damage to my life.

Why do i hate my family

Seth and Aiden, I hope one day you stumble upon this and read it, and realize that what you are going through is not your fault. You were always both good kids, and you are both growing into strong and intelligent young men with good hearts,and I am very proud of you. Your sister Haley misses you both very much, and she hopes very much that she can be reunited with you one day. As for me, I am broken.

Why do i hate my family

I have to put it away and focus on other things. Should you ever decide to look me up, I will be in Orlando, like always, and not hard to find. My door and my heart will always be open to both of you. I am also sorry for the mistakes I have made along the way, and I hope you can forgive me for them. Remember to be kind and forgiving to each other.

Why do i hate my family

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I Hate My Parents. Is That Normal?